Beginner - ricknotesricknotes

Beginner

When the initial inclination to engage in spiritual work, and associated personal transformation, forms within us we usually acknowledge that we are beginners. We meditate, or pray, or engage in spiritual ceremony, and learn the art and language of spirit. Things often go well, and we believe we are making good progress, and in the way of western culture, we believe we are no longer beginners.

Often those who have been on the spiritual path for some time have an investment in having made progress and being “more advanced”. They may have their own healing practice, or be teaching.

And then, inevitably, comes the call for deeper transformation. Often this call is signaled by the appearance of unknown physical or emotional symptoms, a severe illness, a personal tragedy, or other types of crises. Our body and emotions deliver the message(s) of the need for, and often indicate the type of, transformation required. In general terms these signals are of inner trauma, that unless cleared, now blocks our further progress.

Note: I’m using “trauma” as a simple descriptor of the many different types of stresses to our psyche that occurs throughout life and sometimes carries over from “past lives”.

Admitting we “hold” trauma is very challenging, especially when, early on in the process, we often don’t really know what the trauma is or how it occurred. We are expert at blocking, and then denying, trauma to protect ourselves. When the messages from our body and emotional state arrive, part of us want to turn away and go on being successful in the lives we have. It is so tempting to say “I’m OK”, deny there might be a deeper problem, and assert our current course. Often part of us knows how “unappetizing” the journey through the trauma will be, so we are preprogrammed to avoid it. We often respond in generalities: “sure, I have experienced trauma, just like everyone”, or “sure, I have some issues I’m working on”. We have so many ways of deflecting and denying our need for deeper transformation.

However our body is speaking truth, and our mind is “lying like a rug”.

It is so difficult to respond with “yes, my body and emotional state is telling me that a deeper trauma to my psyche is emerging within me, and I don’t know how significant it is or how to respond to it.”

At these times we are faced with the opportunity to return to a state of “beginner”; to admit we don’t really know what’s going on, to proceed with humility, curiosity and openness to possibilities; and truly engage in transformation.

To return to the innocence and grace of the committed beginner.

We are all beginners – all the time.