In these challenging times some spiritual teachings instruct us to avoid / transcend emotions such as fear, anger and pain.
To stay in “higher” states of consciousness
There seems to be assumptions hidden behind these teachings.
That “engaging” with fear will automatically lead to fight, flight or freeze
Anger will lead to aggression, violence and hatred
And pain will lead to great suffering
Perhaps there is another way
One where we can acknowledge and honour our biology, emotions, humanity and connection rather than separating from, denying or supressing parts of ourselves
A way of wholeness that is authentic
Fear is our natural warning system of real and present danger
It is essential for survival
Denial / suppression / demonizing of fear alienates a part of who we are and puts us at risk of not responding to our warning systems in times of danger
Danger consciousness allows us to acknowledge the automatic responses of fight, flight or freeze, and to choose right action, consciously
Fear (even the terror of war or climate change) can be motivating when worked with consciously
Likewise, it’s important to allow ourselves to feel anger / rage / outrage at boundary violations / injustice, but this doesn’t mean that the anger is blind and results in aggression or violence
Danger consciousness allows us to deeply feel anger and allow its energy to run hot and fast through us and become a motivator for conscious choice and right action
If we don’t allow the flow of these hot and fast emotions to boil and then cool, we can end up permanently stuck on simmer and these emotions become internally damaging
If we deny or dissociate from emotions like fear and anger, we lose part of our emotional wisdom and it can become harder to open to other emotions such as love
And we open the door to the shadow side of these supressed emotions rising unbidden within us
Rather, get to know fear and anger, learn their energies and how they run through you
Feeling fear is not the same as living in fear
Feeling and acknowledging anger is not the same as living with a seething rage inside us
True open-heartedness and light-heartedness flourish when we no longer have to guard our hearts to some of our emotions
Compassion and loving kindness requires us to have the capacity to feel with another
To sit with them in all their emotions, including fear, anger and pain.
To hold them, and the emotions we feel with them, in loving kindness
To support them in consciousness and choice
If we have explored the depths of our own fear, anger and pain we can then sit in compassion with another, unconcerned that we will be overwhelmed, or reactive, when feeling with them
Supportive relationships are essential in these times
Relationships where we can hold each other in compassion, and express our fears, anger and pain to others who have the capacity for deep, caring listening
On the journey to danger consciousness, it is important to recognize that we all have points of overwhelm – where we freeze and go numb to protect ourselves
Often our points of overwhelm are not solely about the current situation, but rather the current situation has activated deeper personal, ancestral and collective trauma
We often are drawn to teachings that advocate separation from fear, anger and pain because we subconsciously know that if we tap into these emotions, we will open the door to unresolved trauma within
When we begin to overwhelm and freeze it is important to take time and space to thaw and center
Mastery is our ability to deeply feel all emotions and respond with conscious choice and right action – step by step
Danger consciousness fosters acceptance of all of who we and others are – it fosters connection and generosity
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Note: For additional information see “Feel”