Delirium - ricknotesricknotes

Each convulsive spasm appears with explosive force
In waves that bring tears to our eyes – and at night, seal them shut
Uncontrolled, when we have controlled everything else
The cough
The sore and swollen throat
The stuffed head

We want to push away these symptoms, to be “better”
And push aside the unwelcome emotions that accompany them
Modern medicine encourages us to “quiet the cough”
But the grief inside has been suppressed and quiet too long

During the day we manage
But at night, struggling to breathe, we drift into the chasm of delirium
An altered state – tight, compressed, hot, incessant, and pulse pounding

In this state we glimpse the tombs within our lungs
The row of defeats
The dreams that died
The rack of regrets
Each linked to the many things never expressed through a fearful throat

We would not go here willingly

As with other altered states, the key to resourcefulness is the ability to navigate while “under the influence”
Here we have unusual access – to the pure energetics
Here, acknowledgement, and release is possible – at a level that is completely unavailable when we are “healthy”, keeping busy and avoiding